Playing Fair
by sleep learning
Summary: Contrary to his name, Zack Fair did not fight fair. Reno admits there is a third person in the relationship


Despite the… _distasteful_ qualities and behaviour that came from being a Turk, there was one thing Reno held in high honour, and that was fighting fair.

Not in reference to stealth tactics, or hidden weapons, since those were simply taking advantage of being prepared. No, fighting fair in Reno's twisted version was hard to define. It had nothing to do with height, or weight, or training. It wasn't even about numbers, or age or gender. Sometimes, you could just _feel_ whether or not a fight was fair.

Contrary to his name, Zack Fair did not fight fair.

Worse, was that Reno could not even call for an umpire, an interceptor, a judge or even an audience, to bear witness and level the playing grounds. Because when your opponent is dead, the only way to even things out is to bring them back, or join them. Reno did **not **want to fizzle his way into the life stream just yet, and bringing back the dead was beyond the abilities of Turk.

All that was left was to sit on the sidelines, cross his arms and mutter bitterly as he watched the game play out in someone else's favour.

The game of course, was the attention, more importantly the heart, of one Cloud Strife.

Emotionally stupid, socially dysfunctional Cloud. The very same Cloud that Reno could not help but love. Love more than helicopters, drinking, any acts of debauchery or… helicopters. Even more than acts of debauchery, whilst drunk, in a helicopter.

And in his own, crippled and surprisingly childlike way, Cloud had professed to love him back.

It had flowered slowly between conversations over drinks, reminiscing in the rubble of the slums. It had rapidly changed with intense gazes of longing, hesitating hands and finally bloomed in sweet but somehow innocent passion as they had tried to reach each others soul through the skin that housed them.

They had demons. It came with the job, the history. Some things would be ignored, which Reno was the master of, because past evils were better left forgotten when the only people left to give forgiveness had been killed at your own hands.

Some things were coaxed out in short sentences, while Cloud clenched his jaw, gripping his arms tightly, no matter which one of them was giving the confession.

It wasn't perfect, but it was the closest thing two damaged, lost and sadly hopeful people could do.

A large hurtle, rife with pain and love, was Zack. It was accepted, it wasn't something even Reno could ignore, that Zack was the love of Cloud's life. The one demon Reno couldn't fix. The one angel Cloud couldn't forget.

Sometimes it felt like there was a third person in the relationship. Over time, Reno _knew_ it to be true. It wasn't like he was trying to replace him. Cloud would never want or ask, and Reno wouldn't let himself break even more in trying.

But he was there, beyond the tangible world, waiting in the wings. In moments of paranoia, Reno feared he would loose Cloud. And to someone who wasn't even real.

But if he wasn't real, how could he watch his lover leave, for days at a time, to sit by the long buried sword?

If Zack wasn't really there, would it make it easier for Reno to watch Cloud loose focus, all sense of time, falling back in reminiscence?

In moments of despair and hopelessness, an invisible force would rebuild his resolve, lift his shoulders and carry Cloud forward. And Reno could only watch from the sidelines, while someone else comforted the man he swore he would die for.

The hidden, selfish part he rarely admitted to, wanted to beg on hands and knees to for Cloud to let him, let Reno, make him forget all about Zack. Let him take Cloud in his arms and breathe the pain away. He wanted to caress his face and embrace the fear that trapped him, coax Cloud back into the world of the living, brake the shackles of guilt with unadulterated love and physical, soul consuming ecstasy.

But he wouldn't.

Reno would not take Zack away from Cloud, just as much as he could not take Cloud away from Zack.

Because Reno fought fair.

Because he could love, even if was from the sidelines.

He could remain motionless; feeling the bed tip as Cloud would silently rise, making his way to the window.

Reno could sit, watching the tremors take control of Cloud's body. He could watch the silent tears fall with random speeds, crashing towards each other and splitting apart, hanging off the side of a perfect jaw for far too long, ultimately crashing to the floor.

He could handle the knowledge that he wasn't always sought after for comfort, that there was always someone else in the room, silent and waiting for Cloud to need them.

He could even trick himself into seeing the tall, sturdy and loving figure of Zack, forever Twenty-three, his arms embracing Cloud, vague and ethereal.

No, Zack didn't play fair. He wasn't the one watching, he was waiting. Waiting for years, decades, for his own reunion. For Cloud's final return to the life stream.

And Reno could only watch.


End file.
